Tuesday, September 11, 2007

New Word Of The Day


It means "black rims" (or "black rimz" for you more urban types).

I'm not sure about the rest of the country, but here in Orange County the latest cheesy bling trend is black rims. They're just like the shiny chrome rims that people have been pimping out their cars with for years, only completely black. It's sort of "macho pimped" and very popular amongst big black truck owners (black trucks, not owners...the owners are usually white).

Anyhow, the fact is that black rims, at first and sometimes second glance, look just like wheels that have had their hubcaps removed or stolen.

I could go on but a picture is worth a thousand words...

Above: some typical black rims.

Above: Griswold family truckster, minus hubcaps.

You can also refer to them as "Cousin Jackies". As you'll recall, after Sparky was told to go "fuck yo mama" whilst driving lost through the hood, he received some directions back to the interstate that instead wound up being a diversion to a cousin, Jackie, who apparently sits all day in a Ford Torino. Meanwhile, their hubcaps got nicked.

Anyhow, my neighborhood is actually covered in Range Rovers, Hummers, Suburbans, and even one horribly disgraced Jaguar, all of whom apparently ventured through the same neighborhood in East St. Louis and got their hubcaps stolen just like the Griswolds.

The fact is, rims are bad enough when adorning the underside of affluent middle-class suburbanites, but these are just hideous because they don't even have the requisite bling characteristic of being SHINY. It's like a whole new category of understated tackiness.

And all I can say is, "Excuse me, holmes?"