Friday, March 16, 2007

Faux Simpsons Scene Of The Day

Homer stumbles home from Moe's, wasted. After a heated but hilarious argument with Marge, she screams at him, spurring one of his elaborate fantasies.

MARGE: Homer, you're not only going to Hell but you're going to drive there DRUNK!"

We see Satan. His face is aghast. He screams.

SATAN: You idiot! We just had these installed!

Homer has crashed into the gates of Hell, his car is angled up on a pile of rubble that was once the side of a decorative gate. The driver's door opens up and empty beer cans come tumbling out.

HOMER (SLURRING): Whoa, man, that came out of nowhere...

Satan suddenly sees one of the Hounds of Hell pinned under the car's wheel. The dog is yelping.

SATAN: Oh my goodness, REMUS!
HOMER: Wait, shut up man, I love this part...

The car is still running and Homer suddenly cranks up the stereo, blasting "Too Much Time On My Hands" by STYX, singing along at the top of his lungs, getting all the words wrong, while Satan, looking flustered and weepy, tries to free Remus from under the car.

Cut back to Homer and Marge in the bedroom.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Quote Of The Day

"It's no longer a dog-eat-dog world. It's more like dog-doesn't-return-other-dog's-email."
- Woody Allen (sort of)